02 December 2003


it's incredible how a song or a melody can take you somewhere. to places you've been before, and places may never go again. yesterday a song took me back to a place i long to be. riding on that dirty, bumpy chicken bus along undeveloped roads where it would take 14 hours to travel 400 miles. sitting in that classroom trying to speak her language 4 hours each day to a girl who doesn't speak mine. lying by the sea, letting the waves crash over my body and the sun kiss my cheeks, and putting on my gear to explore the world underneath that blanket of water. dancing the salsa, merenge, and the marcarena (!) at la cashbah while sipping on 15 Q cuba libres or 7 Q gallos. walking barefoot. strolling the park with my new found friends from norway, denmark, iceland, guatemala, canada, holland, germany, and various other countries. eating pupusas, tacos, plantains, mango, fresh corn from the grill, tamales....drinking coconut water fresh from the coconut, sandia con leche, cafe, or red fanta out of a bag. hearing the sounds of marmibas, wooden flutes (ocarinas), drums, conch shells, guitars, rattles/shakers, maracas, rain sticks, chirimiasms, and xylophones playing on the streets. watching people dancing, children laughing, tourists shopping, and locals selling.

i loved waking up to cities/towns/villiages surrounded by lakes, volcanoes, jungles, rain and cloud forests, and beaches. i can still catch the smells and "aromas of copal incense and pungent marigolds mingle with the fragrance of freshly-ground chocolate, baked bread and sweets as children play and families remember." a place where all your senses are alive, rich and full of zest! my mind's eye is full of wonderful memories. it has seen places that it used to dream of. places i never thought existed. but they do!

and yesterday, that simple song brought those feelings back....and i couldn't believe how much i missed it. it's almost that time again.


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25 November 2003

"not so sacred bonds"

monday mornings at work, everyone wants to catch up with one another. "how was your weekend?", "did you see X movie?", "did so and so call you?".....yesterday was no different.

i arrived at work and began discussing weekend happenings with my co-worker, C. she is a crazy girl and always has exciting stories to share. she looked like hell, so i figured this past weekend was no different. i asked her what she did. she began telling me how friday night she broke up with her boyfriend. she had been meaning to do this for some time now, as this man is no good for her (and you will soon see why). she was feeling down and called up a friend. mind you, this friend is her husbands cousins wife. that's right. she has a husband and broke up with her boyfriend. a husband she recently celebrated her first wedding anniversary with in vegas. a husband she cheated on within being married less than 3 months.

anyway, she heads over to the husbands cousins house. her husband and his cousin were at work. so the girls pulled out some schnaps and began drinking. apparently, they drank a LOT because when the cousin arrived home around midnight, he found the two of them in bed. you would think this man would be upset finding his wife in bed with another. but instead, he watched. the next morning, C's husband called up and asked if she was over there. C decided to tell him everything that went on last night and again, instead of being upset because she'd slept with another, he was only upset that he wasn't there too.

why do people get married anyway? perhaps i'm old fashioned, but i believe that marriage should happen between two people when they are in complete and total, true, pure, passionate love. so they can proclaim that love to everyone else. marriage is the beginning of a family. it is two people so in love that they create more people, generations to come, a future, a life...together.

why get married if you aren't ready? if you are still going to cheat? why say "yes" or "i do" if you don't mean it? do people settle? do they feel pressured to get married? are people that afraid of being alone that they'd rather spend the rest of their lives with someone they like? and was the article i read the other day stating that 43% of marriages end because a man finds someone else, someone better....was that true?

i'm scared.


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18 November 2003

"the good, the bad, and the ugly"

shit happens. we all know this. it happens when you lease expect it. thank goodness days like this don't happen often, or i may just spend the rest of my life curled in a ball, on the couch, at home (wait, maybe that wouldn't be so bad.....)

yesterday started out as an average day. i arrived at work at 7:00 AM (ok, it was 7:12 AM), played on the internet, did some work, text messaged, ate lunch, more text messaging, a little more work, etc. 3:30 PM finally arrived. i headed to my car to grab my other work clothes, that's when it all began. my front right tire was FLAT! no big deal, you think, right? just toss on the spare and be on your way....that was my first thought as well. i did just that. but there's a real problem when your spare tire to your new car is flat too. my friend vanessa offered to take me to the conoco to fill up my tires with air, so we put the full size tire in the truck and starting jacking the car back up to take the spare off and be on my way. that's when the jack decided to break!

i didn't want to waste anymore time, i was supposed to be at work at 4:00 PM, by now it's 3:50 PM. vanessa and i just got in her car and went to fill up my full size tire. when we got back, my friend dj had found another jack and had the car ready to go. since there were no leaks and no holes in the tire, we decided to take our chances and put the tire back on the car. i drove around the parking lot a couple times for a test run and headed for the freeway. vanessa followed me for awhile and when things looked okay, she drove by, i gave her a nod, she passed me and headed home.

right after she passed me, i heard a strange noise. i was in the left lane, so i cut across the carpool lane to get on the side of the freeway. mid-carpool lane, my tire completely blew out! so there i was, stuck on the side of the road, blown out tire, no spare, and now, over an hour late for work.

i call my dad, he works just down the road and i figured i catch him before he headed home. unfortunately, he was already home, but he's my dad and he's the greatest man on earth (and i'm not just saying this because of yesterday) so he came to the rescue. in the meantime, highway patrol guy, we'll call him 'dick', pulled up behind me. he didn't ask, "how can i help you?", or even "do you need a tissue to wipe all the tears and snot from your face?", but instead tells me i have 30 minutes to move my car or he will have it impounded because it is illegal to be pulled over on the left side of the freeway. thanks dick! was i supposed to cut across one lane of traffic or 4 when my tire blew out? so he puts his orange marker on my window to mark what time it was and went on his way. 10 minutes later my dad arrives. i jump in his car with my spare and my blown out tire and head to the greatest tire store on earth. Les Schwab. i love them forever and ever, amen.

vanessa calls me back after seeing my missed call and asks what she can do. i told her about mr. dick, so she volunteered to go sit behind my car on the freeway with her hazards to scare him off. dad and i got a new tire and filled up the spare in 5 minutes flat! we got back on the freeway and lo and behold, my car and vanessa were still there waiting. dad changed the tire and sent me on my way. i arrived at work 2 hours late in my now ghetto fabulous car with a missing hubcap (?) and orange writing on the windows.

but hey, it could have been worse, right?

***fyi.....i found out last night that Les Schwab will come and bring you a new tire or help you change your flat anywhere for no more than $30. the guy i spoke with said if i was close by they'd do it for free! that's for those of you without a fabulous father like mine around or someone that can help and you don't want to spend a fortune to get the car towed!***


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17 November 2003


found at shanni

last cigarette: never
last kiss: yesterday
last cry: Nov. 7th
last library book checked out: Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins
last movie seen: Seabiscuit
last book read: Why Girls are Weird by Pamela Ribon
last cuss word uttered: shit
last beverage drank: dr. pepper
last food consumed: string cheese/yogurt
last phone call: laura
last tv show watched: i honestly can't remember!
last time showered: last night
last shoes worn: black boots
last cd played: The Clarks
last item bought: coconut lime lotion
last soda drank: dr pepper
last thing written: case narration at work...blah
last sleep: last night from 11 PM-6 AM
last im: sommertime
last sexual fantasy: like i would tell you
last ice cream eaten: friday night at work
last time wanting to die: never
last lipstick used: lipsmacker!
last time dancing: at shaggy's for lauras birthday last wednesday
last show attended: concert? indigo girls


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"mixin' it up"

i am trying a new comment system....leave me a comment and let me know it's working!


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10 November 2003

"Pleased with a rattle"

last night i dreamt that i won front row tickets to a Jimmy Buffett concert. if you've ever seen him in concert, you know he's usually barefoot. in my dream, his toes were hanging off the edge of the stage and i couldn't resist but tickling him. what is my subconscious trying to tell me now? and why did 2 people tell me they dreamed about me last night?

in other news, this time of year seems to slap me in the face and remind me how broke i constantly am....and i'm tired of it! so a few weekends ago, i went out and applied for some part time jobs and tomorrow i officially start. i will be serving at the newest restaurant downtown SLC. but after my orientation friday, turns out this job won't be so part time. i'm working from 4-midnight after my 'real' job hours of working 7-3:30. that'll show my wallet who is the boss around here!

had an eventful week. saw the indigo girls in concert on tuesday night. as i mentioned previously, we had 4th row seats and it was a fabulous show. then i saw this movie, and this one too....and this one....not to mention this one.

tomorrow is veteran's day. as a government worker, you know what that means...not only am i currently updating my blog at work, but i will be paid tomorrow for 8 more hours of playtime.



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03 November 2003

"but everyone else is doin' it...."

100 things about me

1. I was born January 9, 1979
2. My lucky number is 9
3. I was 4 weeks late
4. I lived in the same house for the first 19 years of my life.
5. My parents still live in that house
6. I am left handed
7. I will rarely visit people in the hospital because the thought or sight of people in pain makes me faint (it doesn't even have to be real, I will faint in movies too!)
8. I never had a pet because my dad is allergic to everything
9. I have worn contacts since I was 9
10. I have 2 sisters, no brothers
11. I love being the youngest
12. My nieces and nephew are cuter than yours
13. I love being an aunt
14. My parents met in high school, they are still married
15. I love to travel
16. I have been to 19 countries outside the U.S.; Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvaldor, Cuba, Nicuragua, Costa Rica, Panama, Belize, France, England, Switzerland, Germany, Austria, Czech Republic, Italy, Spain, Greece, and Holland
17. I have a Bachelor of Science in Business Management
18. Orange and purple are my favorite colors
19. I wear a lot of blue and black
20. My first kiss was at Classic Rollar Skating Rink in 6th grade
21. He was in 9th grade
22. I was raised Mormon, no longer practicing
23. I am photogenic
24. I love to cook and clean
25. I can be crafty
26. I like all kinds of music…..yes, even country
27. I took piano lessons for 6 years
28. I am a Capricorn
29. I wish I had red hair
30. I have one tattoo
31. I once ate my neighbors gall stones
32. If you look into my mouth, you can see my thyroid gland on the back of my tongue
33. I laugh a lot
34. I have detached earlobes
35. I can curl my tongue and roll my rrr’s
36. I have been bungie jumping
37. Once I sang karaoke to “baby got back”, but I don’t got back!
38. I love lip gloss
39. I always have gum in my purse
40. I had an imaginary friend when I was little named “kellifer”
41. I love to sing and I ALWAYS sing in the car
42. I can speak a little French, even more Spanish, and I know all the important words in Bosnian
43. I can do the splits
44. I never had braces to straighten my teeth
45. I love watching football
46. I performed at an NFL game during halftime
47. I love to dance
48. I can’t fall asleep unless I’m on my stomach
49. I sleep 8 hours a night
50. I have slept with my teddy bear since I was 8
51. I slept in a twin bed until I was 24
52. I rarely lose things
53. I have a horrible memory
54. I’ve never been in a car accident
55. I can’t put my face underwater without plugging my nose
56. I love to be the center of attention
57. I am opinionated
58. The shirts in my closet are hung in rainbow order….I’m slightly OCD
59. I love spicy foods
60. I love making salsa
61. I love seafood
62. Diet Coke (w/Lime) is my carbonated weakness
63. I once bit through my lip, had one stitch
64. I broke my foot doing the Toyota kick after a kiss - had a cast up to my knee for 6 weeks!
65. I like watching TV
66. I don’t like talking on the phone
67. I love e-mail, instant messaging, and text messaging
68. I have a friend I have talked to online since I was 16, but have yet to meet
69. I am addicted to the internet
70. I like to work, I usually have 2 jobs
71. I really like to mow the lawn, the smell soothes me
72. I am named after my sisters favorite doll
73. I love movies, especially scary movies
74. I would love to be in a movie
75. I would never want to be famous
76. I don’t like yoga
77. I love to run
78. I don’t always know what you are talking about
79. I pretend to know everything
80. When given an address, I’m very good at finding places
81. I love to drive
82. My glass is always half full
83. I wish I could express myself in writing better
84. I’m obsessed with song lyrics
85. If you turned on the radio, any station, I could tell you what the song was and who sang it….almost always
86. I have never inhaled a cigarette
87. Bad manners piss me off
88. Bad customer service infuriates me
89. I am very loyal
90. I keep promises
91. I love math
92. I have chubby fingers and my 2nd and 3rd toes are longer then my big toe
93. I wouldn’t wear open toed shoes until I was 17
94. I love planned spontaneity
95. I love wearing skirts because I think I have nice legs
96. I don’t have a middle name
97. I can’t sleep naked
98. I love to read. A lot!
99. I hate ketchup
100. I love Utah

31 October 2003

"gather round"

when i was in first grade, i had a sleepover with my friend emily. her parents had to go to a scouting ceremony with her older brother at the church next door...so they left emily and i home alone for a couple hours.

while they were gone, the phone rang. emily answered it it.


"meet me at the corner at twelve o'clock"


emily came back to where we were watching TV and eating popcorn/peanut butter in the front room. she looked as white as a ghost. she told me what happened and what the old lady said on the other end of the phone.

a few moments later, the phone rang again. emily refused to answer it, but as a 7 year old girl, there was nothing i enjoyed doing more than answer the phone. i jumped up and grabbed it.


"little girl, make that eleven o'clock instead"


emily was by my side and gave me that 'i told you so look' she was famous for. we were petrified! emily's bedroom looked out on the corner of ruflin and 8th.

her parents came home shortly afterwards. of course they didn't believe two 7 year old girls....but i swear to this day it's true.

we went to bed around 10 and stayed awake waiting and watching the corner. at eleven o'clock, there stood an old lady with a scarf over her head, in a long jacket, she was holding a plastic grocery sack. we ran to get her dad, to somehow protect us....we came back into the room to show him what was out the window and the lady was gone.

to this day, no one believes us, but i know what i saw that night.

have you ever seen a ghost?


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30 October 2003

"fancy free"

do you love, or do you LOVE the new design?


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29 October 2003

"i love the 80s...."

really.....i do....i love watching all the VH! specials, i laugh at all the e-mails about garbage pail kids and space invaders. but please don't tell me this hairstyle is making a come back....one word....ICK


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27 October 2003

"wish list"

for all you singletons out there....i found the perfect gift to give yourselves this Christmas

and speaking of voodoo....here's one for the kiddies

also...congrats to the marlins. yes, i do select my sports teams on how hot the players are and how can you not love him??? if this is how hot the puerto rican men are, i can't wait to get there in january!


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22 October 2003

"spoil me"

3 things that have made me a very happy girl in the past 24 hours:

1. free sweatshirt arrived from blogger
2. 4th row tickets to the indigo girls concert
3. nick lachey


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16 October 2003

"American Logic"

(thanks for the e-mail Cesar, hope all is well in Guatemala!)

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they choose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic
competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government.
People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistanour friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians hijacked four airplanes and flew three of
them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under
the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did
such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if hey cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off
people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and
capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we are mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade...

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time all the better.

Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side anyone who opposes war is a Godless American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head.
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works,
Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep.

Good night.
Good night, Daddy.

Any thoughts?


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07 October 2003

"guiding light"

ever think this blog would be around for a year?

yeah, me neither....

look at me now, salut!


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06 October 2003

"serenity now"

Sitting around for 8 hours with a bra wire digging into my chest, for some reason, just isn't my cup of tea.

And lesson #2: don't give out your phone number unless your really want the person to call again, and again, and again.....


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